10,817 Days
by Mardy Lass
Summary: It's 24th January and Sam has a masterplan. Just for once, could things go The Boys' way? More special guest appearances than you could poke in the eye with a stick to see if they're faking. Rated T for language, F for farce and O for "oh no you didn't!"
1. EPISODE TEASER

**Author's Note:**

_I beg your indulgence: my first ever 'script'._

_I've been looking to do something that would top 'The Key' and 'Intervention Pending'. I'm hoping this is it. Big thanks to L'il Sis and the person who made me take this whole script thing seriously. She knows who she is._

**_Ooh lookie, is that a Fourth Wall? We'll soon be through that…_**

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TEASER:

WHITE WRITING OVER BLACK SCREEN--

Bobby Singer's yard.

INTERIOR FRONT HALL - NIGHT

Close-up of the inside of the door under the spy hole. Camera pulls back as door opens.

DEAN enters, smiling and carrying apparently empty cup of take-out coffee. Keeps door open with foot as he leans to wooden table nearby and puts cup on it.

DEAN

I can't believe it just stood there waiting to be shot in the head, man. Easiest hunt we ever been on.

SAM comes in and shuts door. Watches DEAN put keys in pocket and pull off jacket.

SAM

You call that easy? Thing near took your head off.

DEAN looks affronted but throws jacket over arm, walking off toward kitchen. SAM follows.

DEAN

[Shouts]

Bobby! We're back!

[Over shoulder to SAM]

I wus just lulling him into a sense of false security, Sammy.

SAM'S eyebrows raise but he says nothing. Crosses to kettle and checks for water before putting it on stove and lighting it. Looks to see DEAN collapsing on sofa and relaxing into it. SAM pulls cell phone out of right pocket, where DEAN can't see it.

DEAN

[calls]

Bobby!

[to SAM]

Is he even in this episode? Or are we using his place without him again?

SAM

No, he's in the episode. Trust me, I've bothered to look at the whole script this week.

DEAN considers this, looking at the room.

DEAN

So what we doing now?

SAM is typing at his cell phone with his thumb.

SAM

Now? Right now?

DEAN

Now. Right now.

SAM

Right now we're going through the teaser section of the show. Don't worry, in less that three minutes the entire premise of tonight's excitement will be revealed. We'll just have to wait and see what it is.

DEAN yawns and lifts his wrist to check the time.

DEAN

Well could they get a wiggle on? It's nearly ten and there's gotta be a bar or something close-by. We just put down a werewolf, we should celebrate a little.

SAM smiles an EVIL smile. He slides the phone back in his pocket, unseen.

SAM

That's the only reason to celebrate?

DEAN looks at the ceiling. He considers and SAM waits. He appears to be trying to control his impatience.

DEAN

Can't think of anything else right now. What d'you think Bobby's up to?

SAM forces a smile and looks at kettle.

SAM

He must have popped out. He did say he was busy, remember. I could call him, see where he's got to, see if he's bringing food?

DEAN stretches and appears to be getting comfortable. Then he sits up suddenly.

DEAN

Nah. We should go out and eat proper food. I could murder a steak right now.

SAM laughs suddenly. DEAN looks surprised.

SAM

Nice image after what we've done tonight, dude.

DEAN is amused. He gets up and wanders off, presumably to find a bathroom.

Camera on SAM. Pulls phone from his pocket and presses numbers quickly. Puts phone to ear. Small puffs of steam come from kettle next to him as he mumbles to himself. Then--

SAM

Bobby, you ready?

Slight noise in response from phone. SAM grins and nods.

SAM

Will do, Bobby. Thanks.

SAM cuts call and shoves phone in pocket quickly.

DEAN re-appears. Looks at SAM suspiciously. Sam pretends not to notice, starts looking for mugs and coffee jar.

DEAN

You say somethin'?

SAM looks up as if surprised.

SAM

What? No. Yeah. Bobby just called - he says to stay put. Says he needs our help with something.

DEAN grunts, not listening. SAM nods and looks round at him as he turns gas off under kettle. DEAN is back on the sofa, yawning.

DEAN

Well did he say what he wanted? D'you think he could bring some food with him?

SAM

I'm sure he will if he knows you're here.

DEAN grunts non-commitedly.

SAM grins, casting a sly look at his brother. Spoons coffee powder into mugs, leans over for kettle. Fills mugs with hot water and stirs.

SAM

He's nearly here, anyways.

DEAN grunts again. SAM carries coffee over and hands one mug to DEAN.

SAM

I can see you're really interested in helping him.

DEAN looks at SAM. He takes the mug gratefully.

DEAN

When I smell food I promise I'll be all ears.

SAM

I don't doubt.

SAM looks away and we see his smile. DEAN is looking at coffee in his hands.

SAM sits on chair by sofa, blowing on his coffee. Boys sit in silence as they attack the drinks.

SOUND OF A CAR OUTSIDE.

SAM hides a grin; DEAN is finishing coffee, oblivious.

SOUND OF DOOR OPENING.

BOBBY (off-screen)

Sam? You gonna help me in with this?

SAM gets up and crosses in front of DEAN to go to door, out of shot. Camera on DEAN as he tips up coffee mug to drain it eagerly. He gets up to go to the jar of coffee powder again.

New camera on SAM as he stops at threshold to room. Camera over SAM'S shoulder shows us two people stopped in front of him: it's BOBBY SINGER and MISSOURI MOSELY.

BOBBY is smiling slightly. MISSOURI is positively glowing with happiness.

BOBBY

Look who I found wandering round the yard.

MISSOURI

Oh, Sam! Come here, honey.

MISSOURI grabs SAM in huge hug. New camera over Missouri's shoulder to see SAM very happy to hug her back.

DEAN (off-screen)

Damn! Is that Missouri?

Camera from SAM'S point of view again. SAM and MISSOURI part and she bustles past him into the room. Camera from SAM's point of view is left looking at BOBBY. BOBBY lifts his hand and makes an 'a-ok' sign with his thumb and index finger. He also winks. Camera on SAM as he grins and steps back.

New camera from BOBBY'S point of view. He sees MISSOURI enveloping DEAN in big hug, SAM putting hands in back pockets.

MISSOURI

I was so worried about you! And here you are, large as life!

She puts her hands to DEAN's face, squeezing and shaking slightly.

MISSOURI

And all new-lookin' and handsome all over again.

She shakes again and pinches DEAN'S cheeks as if he's five years old. DEAN puts his hands to her wrists and pulls her hands off his face with slight suspicion.

DEAN

Whut is this? You gonna be nice till I turn round, then boot me in the ass?

MISSOURI looks angry, then hurt.

MISSOURI

Don't you be givin' me any o' your lip, boy. Not when I came all this way with your uncle Bobby to help you celebrate.

DEAN lets go of her hands. She puts her hands on her hips expectantly. DEAN looks puzzled: patented look involving triangular, quirked-up eyebrows and mouth in small 'o' shape.

DEAN

Celebrate the werewolf thing? How'd you find out so fa--. Aww, I get it - psychic, right?

MISSOURI sighs and folds her arms slowly.

MISSOURI

[sad]

Don't tell me you've forgotten.

She stares at him. DEAN looks blank. MISSOURI is sad.

MISSOURI

You have. Oh honey. It's January 24th! It's your birthday! We've come to celebrate you turnin' thirty!

Camera sweeps round: BOBBY smiles maliciously. SAM grins with plain happiness. MISSOURI appears sympathetic.

MISSOURI

It's gonna be a blast - what could go wrong?

Camera stops on DEAN. His face is part shocked, part afraid.

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

**END OF TEASER**

"SUPERNATURAL" NAME CARD SEQUENCE - RED LETTERS WITH SCREAMS AND DEMON RATTLE, INCLUDING RUSTLING ANGEL WING SOUND.

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_So I didn't think the formatting would be a problem till I saw it was spacing out name+dialogue lines. Can't find a way to stop it - hope it doesn't make it hard to read!_


	2. ACT I

**Author's Note:**

_Thanks for all your kind reviews and support. As you can see, I am far from done writing The Boys Winchester... I hope I have many more stories to tell yet._

_Anyway - on with the show!_

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**ACT I**

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INTERIOR - BOBBY'S PLACE - FRONT ROOM - NIGHT

Wide camera on room:

BOBBY pats SAM on shoulder. MISSOURI is looking round room, as if for a chair. DEAN notices and moves out of the way for her. She sits on the sofa with a wide smile.

DEAN

So Bobby just picked you up?

DEAN looks over at SAM and BOBBY. His shoulders sag slightly as his face registers realisation.

DEAN

You don't really need our help with anything, do you Bobby?

BOBBY

Sure I do. I need you to carry somethin' in, and I need Sam to plug his whatjamacallit into it. Damned if I know what it's all about.

DEAN looks confused. BOBBY chucks thumb over his shoulder.

BOBBY

It's in the car. Sam, you know what to do.

Camera on SAM as he smiles. Camera pans to MISSOURI in background, already smiling.

SAM [off-screen]

Yes sir.

SAM turns away and goes to his duffle on side table. Camera on DEAN: he looks blankly at BOBBY. Camera on BOBBY.

BOBBY

Well come on, boy, I ain't getting any younger. And neither are you.

BOBBY smiles maliciously. DEAN just lets his head drop humbly and puts his hands deep in the front pockets of his jeans. DEAN and BOBBY exit room.

Camera on MISSOURI. She's smiling.

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**CUT TO--**

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BOBBY and DEAN outside, night sky above full of stars. BOBBY goes to trunk of car and opens it. DEAN looks in. Camera on his profile.

DEAN

Holy crap, Bobby. What'd you do, rip off a nightclub?

New camera to look over their shoulders inside trunk. Large portable CD player-come-mobile disco unit is inside. BOBBY looks at it, then camera follows him to look at DEAN.

BOBBY

Son, we gotta make sure it goes loud enough. Sam has an idea of what to put through it.

DEAN rolls his eyes.

DEAN

Oh pul-eeze. If he dares plug his iPod in this I'll wipe it and fill it with nothing but Metallica.

Pause. BOBBY looks at him with disbelief. DEAN notices and looks back at him.

DEAN

When I say me, I mean you.

[Pause]

Cos you'd know how to - ah - kinda - do that computer stuff and cra--

BOBBY

Dean.

DEAN

Yeah?

BOBBY

Just get the goddamn thing out of the trunk and into the house, y'eejit.

DEAN looks into trunk quickly.

DEAN

Yes Bobby.

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**CUT TO--**

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SAM and MISSOURI on sofa, leaning together to look at something SAM has in his hands.

MISSOURI

Oh! That one, that one. I love that song.

She points at something in SAM's hand.

SAM

Seriously? I never figured you for a fan.

MISSOURI looks at him with a kind smile.

MISSOURI

Darlin', there's a lot of things about me you don't know.

SOUND OF DOOR OPENING.

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**CUT TO--**

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BOBBY and DEAN carrying large piece of audio equipment in between them. It's heavy. They struggle to get it to the middle of the room before they have to put it down.

They suck in breath gratefully and stand back, wiping their hands and looking at it.

Camera on SAM.

SAM

Woah, that's like… huge.

[Pause]

What is it?

Camera on indignant BOBBY.

BOBBY

You wanted a music system, I got you a music system. Don't start getting picky now!

Camera on SAM; raises palms quickly in surrender.

SAM

No, it's fine… I think.

SAM walks over to look at it. He walks all around it, scratching his head. Camera has all three in shot.

DEAN

Whut? Whut you lookin' for?

SAM stops and scratches head again.

SAM

I can't see a power plug.

DEAN bends down and catches at a thick cable. He pulls it gently till the end appears in his hand. He lifts it toward SAM.

DEAN

[sarcastic]

I'm no expert, but could it be something to do with this?

SAM takes it from him and turns to look for a power point.

BOBBY looks at MISSOURI. Cut to her, smiling.

BOBBY [off-screen]

Need a drink yet?

MISSOURI stands up.

MISSOURI

I'll help you fix 'em.

MISSOURI and BOBBY exit screen right. Camera pans to watch SAM and DEAN struggling to push large music system closer to power point in wall.

DEAN

Is this gonna be a bottle-show?

SAM

A what?

DEAN

Y'know, like all set in one room, flashbacks and clips from previous shows to keep people interested, cos the writers are on haitus or something? Cos I don't see how we're going to get a creature-feature story out of us just havin'--

SOUND OF BANGING ON DOOR.

SAM and DEAN freeze. BOBBY's head appears round doorjamb in background.

BOBBY

Dean. Make yourself useful, open the door.

DEAN's face is looking hard done-by. SAM smiles and flicks 'shooing' hands at him. DEAN scowls at him and turns away.

Camera follows over DEAN's shoulder. DEAN goes to front door. Opens it to reveal a smiling young woman. She is dressed warmly and holding a large bottle-shaped lump of wrapping paper.

YOUNG WOMAN

Dean! Long time no see!

She jumps up slight step and grabs DEAN in a big hug. Camera over her shoulder shows DEAN's face frantic. His eyes dart upwards and his lips move quickly. He's going through names.

The young woman pulls back and grins at him.

DEAN

Uh… It's… uh…

YOUNG WOMAN

It's Andrea! Andrea Barr? You saved my son Lucas from drowning?

DEAN's eyes flick to one side. He still looks confused.

ANDREA

Oh, silly me, it was like years ago. We're talking season one, episode two, if you don't count the pilot.

DEAN looks back at her. His look of confusion is quickly wiped and he attempts to look cheerful.

DEAN

Andrea! Of course! How's Lucas?

ANDREA pushes past him to get inside. DEAN closes door; camera is shut out. New camera follows them both back to main room. SAM is happily bending over music system with cables in his mouth.

ANDREA

Sam! Hey there!

SAM straightens and takes cables from his mouth. He thinks, then grins.

SAM

Hey! It's uh… Andrea, right?

ANDREA

Yeah. Thought I'd join the party. Lucas is at his friend's for two nights.

Camera on DEAN. DEAN hears this and folds his arms. He leans on the archway to room, looking at Sam.

DEAN

So someone planned this?

Sam shrugs innocently. ANDREA turns and looks at DEAN. Camera is over DEAN's shoulder, seeing ANDREA with SAM in background.

ANDREA

Wanna see what I brought?

ANDREA holds wrapped bottle out to DEAN. Camera on his hand as he takes it from her. Camera up to his worried face.

ANDREA [off-screen]

Happy birthday, Dean.

DEAN

[quietly]

Thanks.

ANDREA sees he is not happy. She clears her throat. She turns and SAM gestures to the kitchen with his head. He smiles kindly.

SAM

Two more friends of ours, Bobby and Missouri, are in the kitchen if you want to say hello.

ANDREA knots her fingers together nervously and slides away from DEAN'S small cloud of embarrassed silence.

ANDREA

Think I might just do that.

ANDREA exits screen right, leaving SAM in shot.

DEAN [off-screen]

This is your idea of celebrating?

SAM

Kinda. When I asked Bobby to find Missouri, I didn't think he'd tell Andrea Barr, of all people.

SAM shrugs but is completely unrepentant.

SAM

Anyway, what's wrong with that? The more the merrier, right?

Camera on DEAN. He inspects the wrapped bottle still in his left hand. He looks grumpy.

DEAN

Yeah. Great. Super.

He walks off past SAM toward the kitchen.

DEAN

I need to drink this. Right. Now.

SAM turns to watch him walk past.

SAM

You don't even know what it is.

DEAN is almost to the kitchen door.

DEAN

Doesn't matter.

SAM turns back to look at music system. Camera closes on his face. He looks sad, disappointed.

SOUND OF BANGING AT FRONT DOOR.

Wide camera on SAM as he looks up. DEAN comes out from kitchen behind him and walks toward camera, his hands up.

DEAN

I know, I know, I got it. I don't care who this is, they're gettin' a short sharp shocking goodbye.

New camera on outside of front door. Door swings open very fast, revealing DEAN's face made of stone, distinctly unimpressed.

TWO GIRLS' VOICES in STEREO

Hey, Dean. Happy birthday!

Camera on DEAN's face. He looks shocked, eyes wide. He puts a hand out dumbly as two narrow hands, one dark, one pale, hold out a bottle-shaped lump of wrapping paper, identical to the first one brought by ANDREA.

DEAN

[ashen]

Uh… Thanks, Cassie. Sarah.

Camera at DEAN'S back. He steps back and the two girls, CASSIE ROBINSON and SARAH BLAKE walk in. They begin stripping off scarves and heavy winter coats.

CASSIE

So I know we haven't spoken since like season one, but Sam's still in touch with Sarah and she remembered it was your birthday in winter and we--

Camera on DEAN's face. Still shocked, still motionless.

CASSIE

--we thought we'd drive up and say hello, get the party started.

CASSIE stops to throw her arms round him and hug tightly. DEAN doesn't move, doesn't react. She pushes a huge kiss into his cheek and then lets him go.

SARAH

Hey Dean.

CASSIE steps back from DEAN and turns to SARAH.

CASSIE

So let's find Sam. He must be happy to see you.

CASSIE and SARAH exit screen left.

DEAN'S face still shocked, still motionless. He puts a palm out against door and leans his weight on it. He takes a breath, then another.

DEAN

[whispers]

This is a nightmare.

**END OF SCENE**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

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INTERIOR - BOBBY'S FRONT ROOM -- NIGHT

Lamps are on, curtains are closed.

MISSOURI, ANDREA, CASSIE, SARAH and BOBBY are standing around sofa, talking and sharing drinks. Camera pans to SAM: he has the music player prepped, millions of green lights ready to go. He stands up and plugs his iPod into it grandly.

SAM looks around.

SAM

[calls]

Dean! Where'd you go!

DEAN appears round kitchen doorless jamb. He's stood in kitchen by himself holding a large glass, now nearly empty. He licks a lip quickly to show he's been caught drinking something too fast.

DEAN

Not far away, Sammy.

[then quietly, to self:]

Not far enough, anyway.

SAM waves a hand at him.

SAM

[smiling]

Come here, choose the first song.

Camera pans to room to see group of guests watching him. New camera over DEAN'S shoulder watches him put down glass and walk out of kitchen. Camera follows his back to get full-shot. We see him rub his hands on his jeans nervously. We hear him clear his throat.

DEAN stops by SAM. New camera sees them looking at each other, both in shot.

DEAN

Well? Whut do I have to do?

SAM grins and holds out the iPod. DEAN looks at it, his face scrunching in disgust.

SAM

You scroll through these songs and pick the first one you like.

DEAN is still looking at the iPod.

DEAN

[grumpy]

I ain't gonna like any of that touchy-feely crap you got on there, Sammy.

SAM grins knowingly, jiggling the iPod in his palm.

SAM

Are you sure about that? Cos me and Bobby think you might.

Camera on DEAN. He pauses to cast a black look at BOBBY. He looks back at the iPod. He looks at SAM. He puts a hand out and all but snatches it, grumpy as Hell, out of his hand. He raises it to look properly.

DEAN

AC/DC… Asia… Bad Company… Billy Squier… Blue Oyster Cult… Creedence Clearwater Revival… Joe Walsh… Joey Ramone… Kansas… How many…?

DEAN looks at SAM, confused but apparently prepared to be pleased.

DEAN

How'd you put this lot together?

SAM grins and shrugs.

SAM

iTunes.

DEAN

You whut?

SAM

iTunes. You should see the unofficial 'Supernatural' playlists floating round on there, dude.

DEAN looks down again. His eyes catch a name. He gasps with delight.

SAM

And yes, there's stuff on there we're not normally allowed to play due to contracts and rights. Like… this one.

He leans over, looks at iPod in DEAN'S hand. His thumb goes round and clicks at something. He looks up at DEAN expectantly.

MUSIC SYSTEM STARTS. Track is 'HOUSES OF THE HOLY' by LED ZEPPELIN.

DEAN is amazed. His face lights up. SAM grins.

SAM

You should have trusted me, dude.

SAM looks at kitchen, then back at DEAN.

SAM

Can I get a drink now? After I've worked so hard to bring you decent music?

DEAN just turns, already humming and mumbling lyrics to himself quite happily. Camera from over SAM's shoulder sees him head for the kitchen.

New camera on room of people, smiling and nodding to music. SAM looks at MISSOURI. She is grinning and nodding.

SOUND OF BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Camera wide on room. Centre shot, DEAN walks out of kitchen.

DEAN

[sarcastic]

I'll get it. It's probably for me.

Camera follows over his shoulder as he goes to door. Opens it to reveal JO and ELLEN HARVELLE.

Camera on their happy faces. They hold out a bottle wrapped identically to the previous guests'.

JO AND ELLEN

Hey, Dean! Happy birthday!

DEAN throws his hands in the air in resignation. He stands back. JO and ELLEN laugh and walk in. ELLEN just pats his shoulder and walks off, calling off-screen to Bobby. JO walks in door and smiles at him. Camera pulls back to get both in shot. DEAN lifts a stern hand and points a finger straight at the front room.

JO giggles and does as she's told.

Camera outside looking in door. We see DEAN close door to shut camera out. New camera watches him go back to front room and politely dodge through people to make a beeline for the kitchen.

DEAN picks up glass and turns to fridge to find more whiskey.

He stops, shocked. Glass slips from fingers. He grabs at it repeatedly, the glass bouncing around his grasp several times. He finally catches it precariously between fingers.

DEAN looks up, camera closes in on his disbelieving face.

DEAN

Whut the hell are you doin' here?

MAN'S VOICE [off-screen]

Why Dean, I'm hurt. I just came to wish you happy birthday.

DEAN'S eyes go down slightly as a hand extends from behind the camera. It's holding an identically wrapped bottle.

DEAN puts his hand out slowly. He grasps the bottle.

Camera pans round to follow arm of newest guest. Goes up arm to neck, then reveals face to be THE TRICKSTER.

TRICKSTER

I mean, Hell, I been in two different seasons now. We're practically family.

DEAN just stares. TRICKSTER pats his shoulder and walks past him. Camera on DEAN'S face. In background we see THE TRICKSTER entering front room behind him.

TRICKSTER [off-screen]

Hey, everybody! How's it going! Don't worry, I'm just here to watch.

Camera still on DEAN'S face. He closes his eyes as if in pain.

**END OF SCENE**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN

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INTERIOR - BOBBY'S FRONT ROOM - NIGHT

Room is now filled with people - all previous guest stars or notable extras. Track 'CRAZY CIRCLES' by BAD COMPANY is playing in background. Tinkle of glasses, sounds of laughter, room looks warm and inviting.

SOUND OF BANGING ON FRONT DOOR.

SAM'S head is above everyone else's. Camera centres on him but pans back to encompass room, keeping him central. He is looking around.

SAM

[calls]

Dean!

Music is too loud, he can see DEAN'S head but his brother can't hear him. SAM looks down, camera follows, we see he is talking to SARAH and CASSIE pleasantly. SAM excuses himself and pushes through room.

Stops behind DEAN and puts heavy hand on his shoulder. DEAN turns and camera pulls back slightly to see he has a very large drink in his hand. MISSOURI MOSELY and PAMELA BARNES are in shot, grinning. There's a definite air of mischief about them.

SAM

Dude, door. Go see who it is this time.

DEAN is incredulous.

DEAN

Sam, we don't know anyone else. Not anyone alive, anyway. Everyone else was killed in an episode.

SAM shrugs.

SAM

Well maybe we missed someone. Go see.

DEAN looks back at two psychics, then hands drink to SAM.

DEAN

'Scuze me ladies.

DEAN walks out of shot. SAM moves onto his vacated mark. He smiles at both women.

SAM

Hey, Pamela. Didn't see you come in.

PAMELA

[laughing]

I haven't seen anyone all night. And I'll tell you another thing - the lighting in here sucks the big one. Can't see a hand in front of my face.

SAM doesn't know whether to laugh or be shocked. But PAMELA starts laughing and then SAM chuckles. MISSOURI puts a hand on his arm and SAM looks down at her.

MISSOURI

You did a good thing here, Sam. He's a bit shell-shocked, but he's gettin' there.

SAM

Actually? I only asked Bobby to find you two. I really don't know how everyone else found out.

MISSOURI and PAMELA sniff politely and their faces turn up and away in innocence.

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**CUT TO--**

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Camera over DEAN'S shoulder as he opens the front door.

We see a girl, about eighteen, clutching a large wrapped bottle and dressed in a RUSH 'FLY BY NIGHT' album cover t-shirt and stylishly ripped jeans. She has long blond hair and her face is very flushed.

DEAN'S glance runs up and down her, but he seems confused. Camera on girl.

DEAN [back to shot]

Hey. Lemme guess, you're from a season one episode I've forgotten about?

GIRL is grinning madly, just staring. She shakes her head.

DEAN

Want to give me a hint then?

GIRL hands bottle out to him quickly.

GIRL

Hi. Uh… My name's Holly. I… ah… I won.

DEAN takes bottle dumbly. Watches HOLLY.

DEAN [back to shot]

You won whut?

HOLLY

I won the ticket! I was just like so totally excited when I was put in the draw, and then I got the e-mail from the studio and like I was just screaming for like days and then my friend said just to go and not worry cos like she met you all at the convention last year and said you were like the nicest people ever and I wouldn't have to--

DEAN is waving hand desperately.

DEAN

Holly! Holly! Woah woah woah, slow your roll.

HOLLY shuts mouth and slaps hand over it. Uncovers again to speak:

HOLLY

Sorry.

DEAN

Right, back it up. You won some ticket to come to a surprise birthday party?

HOLLY

Yes! From Warner Brothers and the CW, look.

HOLLY opens small clutch purse and pulls out piece of paper. It has small round holographic stickers on it and the back is entirely filled with small print. She thrusts it at DEAN.

DEAN flips it over and gives both sides a cursory glance.

DEAN

Whatever. Go explain it to Sam. I just don't ask any more.

HOLLY giggles and a high-pitched, excited tone comes from her, almost like a kettle blowing steam. DEAN blinks, mixture of bemusement and apprehension, and stands back. HOLLY slides in, as if afraid to get too close to him. She gets past him and hurries into the busy front room.

DEAN pauses, looking surprised and confused.

DEAN

[to self]

Was that a 'squeee'?

DEAN puts hand to face and wipes it down with trepidation. Blows out a sigh.

DEAN

A fangirl? What else could go wrong?

**END OF ACT I**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

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	3. ACT II

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**ACT II**

INTERIOR - BOBBY'S FRONT ROOM - NIGHT

MUSIC playing is 'YOU SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG" by AC/DC. Room is full of people laughing and talking.

Camera looks dead on DEAN, leaning against wall. He is watching crowds of people talking while he sips at large glass of something dark brown.

SAM enters shot right, pushing through people. SAM stops next to DEAN, in shot. DEAN doesn't look at him and SAM turns slowly. Leans back against wall too, bringing them side by side. SAM looks at his feet.

SAM

[disappointed]

Glad you're enjoying yourself.

SAM'S face is apologetic. His mouth is pulled wide and straight and there's a lot of teeth - it should be a smile, but it's too nervous and/or worried.

DEAN snatches a brief glimpse at him. Sips at drink.

DEAN

Freaks me out, man. Too many people I don't really know.

SAM

They only came to say happy birthday. To be honest, I had no idea they were all going to be here. I thought it was just going to be Missouri and Pamela.

SAM risks a look at his brother. DEAN grunts, grumpy look on face.

MUSIC changes to 'CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING' by REO SPEEDWAGON. DEAN'S eyes go large and scared.

DEAN

Sam - the music. Change it.

SAM

Change it?

DEAN

Change it! Change it before--.

[spots something in crowd]

Aw, crap. Too late.

SAM looks up. New camera looks out at crowd of party-goers and spots blond head pushing through. Camera back on SAM, quickly moving through crowd, intercepting JO HARVELLE and pushing her along with him back to the music player.

Camera back on DEAN. He breathes out a sigh of relief. He begins to relax.

HOLLY approaches shot right in tiny, frightened steps. She stops not too close to him.

HOLLY

Hey.

DEAN realises someone is talking to him. He looks at her. He fights to keep horror off his face. He manages. Just. In background, music changes to 'HEY MAN, NICE SHOT' by FILTER.

DEAN

Hey, ah… Sorry, what was it again?

HOLLY

Holly - Holly Mendleson. Sorry to creep up on you - but this is such a fabulous party. I mean, everyone's here! I was kinda hoping for Ash, too, but I guess he can't make it cos I suppose it was, like, a surprise to everyone really, and like, you must be really stoked cos all these people have just, like, driven or flown over to be here and it's like the most f'awesomest thing in the world ever, cos like when I was fifteen and I went to--

DEAN'S eyes close momentarily. HOLLY does not pause for breath. DEAN puts his hand out and it lands heavily on her shoulder.

HOLLY stops talking. She stares. Her eyes bulge. She swallows and then a high-pitched keening, like a kettle whistling off steam, starts.

DEAN'S face turns instantly horrified. He removes his hand. The noise doesn't stop.

DEAN

[shouts]

Sam!

HOLLY looks like her head might explode from excitement. She's still making the kettle whistling noise.

DEAN

[desperate shouting]

Saaaaaaaaaauuuum!

.

**CUT TO--**

.

PAMELA BARNES pushing through crowd. Her head turns as if she hears something. She turns to her left and breaks through throng. She walks quickly forward until she makes sure she bumps into something. Camera pans back to keep PAMELA and DEAN in shot.

DEAN

Pamela! Thank God!

PAMELA leans on DEAN as if to get her bearings.

PAMELA

[innocently]

Oh! Dean! I'm so sorry! Guess I wasn't looking where I was going!

PAMELA pushes black sunglasses up bridge of her nose pointedly. She smiles knowingly in his direction. She turns to her right.

PAMELA

Oh, hi. And who are you?

HOLLY is still making the strange noise. PAMELA leans more on DEAN. She leans her head closer and mutters from the side of her mouth:

PAMELA

Rabid fangirl. You can tell from the squeeeing. I'll get rid of her.

PAMELA puts her hand out and finds HOLLY'S arm.

PAMELA

[dripping with sympathy]

Hey, honey. You sound a little over-excited. Come on, let's go talk about puppies and kittens and ice-cream and Sam's lovely hair and all that really cute stuff, huh?

PAMELA puts her arm round her and walks her away quickly. Camera follows them until crowd of guests is in the way.

New camera on DEAN. He sags against wall, wiping his face with his free hand. Another hand comes into shot from the left, holding a small shooter glass.

MAN'S VOICE

Here. Don't say I never give you nothin'.

Camera stays on DEAN as he looks at shot glass. Takes it first, then looks off-shot to his left. Camera still on DEAN.

DEAN

Rufus! What are you doing here?

Camera is fixed but RUFUS TURNER slides against wall into shot. He is looking haggard and bored. Leans on wall next to DEAN.

RUFUS

Heard you died. Heard you came back. Heard there was a party going on.

DEAN pulls Patented Cynically Surprised Face Number One: eyebrows up as far as they'll go, mouth taut in tiny pout that makes it look like a horizontal staple.

DEAN

You heard all that? You gotta have spies everywhere.

RUFUS

Hey, I didn't wear black on The X-Files for nothin'. Now drink the shot.

DEAN looks down at small glass in left hand.

DEAN

Whut is it?

RUFUS

[smiling]

Do you care?

DEAN shrugs and downs the shooter. He winces and has trouble breathing for a moment. RUFUS laughs.

DEAN

[croaks]

You bastard.

RUFUS reaches over and takes shot glass, sniffing back his mirth.

DEAN

What was that for?

RUFUS

To help you with what comes next.

DEAN looks worried, alert.

DEAN

What comes next? You mean now I'm out of the Bad Fire? Now we're in it up to our eyeballs with angels and demons?

RUFUS looks at him. He smiles suddenly.

RUFUS

I mean now Sam's got himself a chair to stand on.

.

**CUT TO--**

.

SAM is picking up a wooden chair and pulling it over to stand it next to music player. He pauses music on iPod and stands on chair quickly, waving his hands for quiet.

SAM

Ok! Ok, people! Hello!

Wide camera on crowd. Everyone begins to quieten down and pay attention. Camera closes on SAM. He looks pleased.

SAM

So you know why you're all here, right?

There is a generally happy murmur from the crowd.

SAM

Right. So I want to say, thanks to everyone for making the trip out here. I can't believe so many of you survived the seasons, and quite frankly, I think Bobby's shocked we've actually done half the stuff we say we have - so thanks for proving to him we actually did handle all those cases after all.

Laughter and good-natured heckling from guests. SAM waves hands again for quiet.

SAM

And it's great to see that all you season one people are mingling with the others. Season two people, thanks for not feeling like you came second - even though, technically, you did - and I know there are a helluva lot less season three guests, but seriously, that wasn't our fault - and it was all in a good cause.

Laughter and clapping.

SAM

Season four people - thanks for bringing us new stuff and new challenges. Pamela - where are you, Pamela? Raise your hand for us.

Camera pans across crowd and a hand comes up. People clap and whistle.

SAM

Hey, there you are. Thanks for kicking the new season off so well for us. I know Dean was very pleased to meet you in episode one.

Heckling and filthy jokes fill the air. SAM laughs but waves them quiet.

SAM

And Wesley - Wesley Mondale? You here tonight?

Camera on crowd. A pale hand comes up. Cut to SAM.

SAM

Dude, thanks so much for lifting that coin. Really. Losing one shoe is one thing, but two? That's just excessive.

WESLEY [off-screen]

Yeah, well it was be smart and do that or be remembered as Joxer for the rest of my life.

Camera on crowd; laughter and clapping.

Camera on SAM.

SAM

Last but by no means least - thanks to Bobby for letting us use his place for probably the only Winchester family house party there will ever be - and for leaking the time and place to every surviving cast member of the series so far.

Camera over SAM'S shoulder to see BOBBY lift a hand.

BOBBY

[calls from inside crowd]

Honestly, boy, it wasn't me! Ask your psychic friends about that one - I ain't paying their phone bill. I hear they even tried a few dead folks, but the budget didn't allow for ghostly effects.

Laughter interspersed with a few calls of 'budget be damned!' Camera back on SAM.

SAM

Well, you've all come here for one thing - to drink Dean's alcohol before he can. And I, for one, really appreciate that.

Laughter.

SAM

It's no secret we've had a rough few years - Hell, half you people were there. Not all of you know why Dean didn't return your calls half of last year - but you'll have to excuse him. He used up all his sick days and had to call in dead.

Gasps and guffaws.

SAM

But he's back now, and we're all real glad of that.

General applause.

SAM

I'm just happy to have him back. Mostly cos it means I don't have to drive everywhere any more. Seriously though, I missed him… and I know everyone who knew of his whereabouts was pretty cut up about it, too.

DEAN [off-screen]

[calls]

Bad joke, dude!

Crowd laughs and shushes him.

SAM

Looks like I'm done. Dean? Get up here and thank all these poor, misguided fools for turning up tonight.

Camera on DEAN, still leaning against the wall. He is reluctant, waves empty hand. RUFUS takes his drink from him. People converge on him and push him through crowd.

DEAN

[slightly grumpy]

Alright, you asked for it.

Camera back on SAM. DEAN enters shot right, walking up to chair and waving SAM down. He steps down out of shot and DEAN gets up into shot. He looks out at everyone. Uses Patented Smile Of Nervous Bravado Number Three: worried eyes over almost-convincing cheerful half-smile.

DEAN

So you're all waiting for the free pie, right? Sam lied, there ain't any.

Laughter.

DEAN

Seriously? I… ah… I can't believe you're all here tonight. Ah, I think I should say thanks. So, ah… thanks. And ah… That's about it.

SAM [off-screen]

[protesting]

Dude!

DEAN looks down at SAM. Camera follows, stays on SAM.

DEAN [off-screen]

Whut? Is there something else?

Camera still on SAM. He tuts and turns to look at crowd.

SAM

That's Dean's way of saying it was all very kind of you to turn up, that he's really touched, that he's really surprised and humbled, and he never thought he'd see a thirtieth birthday like this one!

Camera on DEAN looking a little grumpier.

DEAN

Dude, don't tell them my age!

BOBBY [off-screen]

That's ok, chicks dig older men!

DEAN smiles despite himself. He waves at the crowd, who cheer and shout encouragement. He steps off the chair. New camera watches him meet floor and bump into someone. Camera over DEAN'S shoulder as person turns round.

TRICKSTER

Hey there, champ. Gotta tell you, this party is swingin'. If I'd known I'd get invited to shindigs like this, I never woulda tried to kill you two.

DEAN looks surprised. Camera pans over his shoulder to see who THE TRICKSTER is talking to. It's CASSIE and JAMIE.

JAMIE looks very pleased.

JAMIE

Hey, Dean. Remember me? Season four, episode… er… episode five, I think. The black--

DEAN

[indignant]

--black and white one. Yeah! Of course I remember you!

DEAN'S attention shifts from JAMIE to CASSIE and back again. His small smile disappears. He looks nervous suddenly.

DEAN

You two, ah… [clears throat] getting along there?

CASSIE

Oh, are we. Jamie's great. We were just trading information.

DEAN

[lightly]

Really?

JAMIE

Really. We were comparing notes.

DEAN

[decisive]

Right. 'Scuze me, I should be… anywhere with a whiskey bottle.

CASSIE

[sly]

Worried, Dean?

DEAN

[worried]

Well you know, two's company, three's a group rate.

DEAN turns quickly and disappears into crowd. Camera goes for tight shot of his right shoulder from behind. Hand lands on it heavily. DEAN stops, surprised.

Camera pans round crowd. It's SAM.

SAM

Dude, you have to see something.

DEAN

Can it wait till I've found a drink?

SAM lets go of shoulder. He jerks head at far door.

SAM

No. We have to get to the end-of-act-two shocker before we get much more into the episode. Act One was too long.

DEAN shrugs, past caring.

DEAN

Well ok, man. But I still don't see how we're gonna get a creature-feature out of something as harmless as a surprise birthday party.

SAM rolls his eyes as he pulls at DEAN'S shirt over his shoulder, yanking him through the crowd.

.

**CUT TO--**

.

Top of staircase. SAM is first, walking down hallway. DEAN follows.

New camera sees them approach bathroom door. SAM reaches it first. He puts hand on doorknob, leaning. He looks at DEAN.

SAM

You don't see how we're gonna get a creature-feature out of this?

Camera behind boys watches SAM turn knob and push door open. Camera closes in on heap of bloody clothes concealing mangled corpse on bathroom floor.

DEAN [off-screen]

Ok, now I see.

**END OF ACT II**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

.


	4. ACT III

.

**ACT III**

INTERIOR - BOBBY'S PLACE - HALLWAY OUTSIDE BATHROOM

SAM is inside bathroom, crouching over heap of bloodied clothes and limbs. DEAN is outside room, looking up and down hallway, spooked. DEAN steps in and shuts door quickly.

Camera on SAM. He has right hand on the bathroom floor tiles, his left holding a pencil to poke at or move blood-matted hair and flaps of clothing.

Cut up to DEAN. He scratches his head and peers down at the corpse.

DEAN

They dead?

Camera on SAM. He ceases poking and withdraws hand and pencil. Looks up at DEAN, who is out of shot above.

SAM

[deliberately]

Yes, Dean. She's dead.

DEAN [off-screen]

She? Who is it, anyway?

SAM

It appears to be our ticket-winning fangirl.

SAM gets to his feet slowly. He is apologetic, sad. Camera keeps both boys in shot.

DEAN

The screamer?

SAM

Holly, I think her name was. She came up and spoke to me not half an hour ago. Well… when I say 'spoke' she just kinda--

DEAN

[interrupting]

Let me guess, she just made this keening, kettle whistling squeeeing kinda noise?

SAM

Yeah. You too?

DEAN

Pamela saved me.

SAM bends down again, looking confused. Camera follows.

SAM

[mystified]

Out of everyone here, why her? She wasn't even on the show once.

DEAN crouches to look the corpse over, bringing him into shot.

DEAN

Maybe it was her. Maybe she got too excited meeting us all and her head really did explode.

SAM

[indignant]

Dude. Not funny.

[Pause]

And anyways, her head is still intact. I checked.

DEAN looks at him using Patented 'Seriously?' Expression Number Five: too-wide eyes coupled with slightly open mouth. SAM shrugs and stands again. Camera closes on SAM.

SAM

So we need a motive, a means, and a murderer.

Cut to DEAN. He puts hands on his knees, pushes to his feet. Both boys in shot. DEAN sniffs and folds arms, thinking. SAM scratches his head as he looks at the ceiling.

It's silent as their faces look baffled and tasked for a long moment.

DEAN

Well?

SAM

Nah, I got nothing.

DEAN

Right. How about this… She met someone tonight and they ganked her just for scoring a perfect ten on the annoyance meter. It could be anyone here tonight. Including you and me.

Pause. DEAN swivels eyes to look at SAM. Turns head to make it obvious he's looking at him.

DEAN

[deadpan]

Was it you?

SAM looks at DEAN, using Patented My Brother Is Dumber Than A Hamster Expression Number Two: mouth open more than halfway, eyebrows rammed down, mystified eyes.

SAM

Do you realise what's gonna happen? When we go out there and tell people we found a dead fangirl in the bathroom? How the Hell are we supposed to-

DEAN snaps fingers. SAM stops short.

DEAN

She's the only fangirl. Everyone else is a semi-regular cast member or a guest star. Right?

SAM

[cautious]

Right.

DEAN

So someone wanted a dead fangirl. Someone literally wants to kill off our audience.

SAM

How do you figure?

DEAN

Can you imagine what the papers will make of this? The press is gonna go nuts - 'Supernatural fan killed at episode party bash'. We'll get cancelled quicker than a Nathan Fillion series on Fox.

SAM

[thoughtful]

Good point. So then…

Silence as SAM and DEAN go back to looking baffled and tasked. One minute. Two.

DEAN

Who'd wanna ruin the show, man? I mean, seriously. We had to fight to get a fourth season, why would anyone want to kill it off now?

SAM

Must be some real whack-job who doesn't care about further guest spots or residuals.

DEAN

Yeah. I'm guessing it's some selfish son of a bitch we killed once already.

SAM

[dismissive]

We can't have dead characters in this episode.

DEAN

Why not?

SAM

It would jeopardise an already precarious juxtapositioning of intra-universe credibility and a knowing yet cautiously delicate messing with a parody-style pushing-the-fourth-wall farce. And it would bring up the whole 'why don't we get John or Mary in here too?' can of worms - and that would bring on accusations of us 'jumping the shark', so prevalent in modern-day series. And anyway, we need something non-arcy right now, as some people are already worried that the show's reson d'être has become so obvious and cliche'd that even the audience is becoming tired of dove-tailed arc episodes that bang them over the head with the ongoing struggle to reach the end of the series with everything in place, much like Jackson Pollock trying to design his own Rubik's-style jigsaw puzzle.

Pause. DEAN is confused: eyebrows quirked up in small triangles, mouth a small 'o' shape.

SAM

[with deliberate clarity]

It would be stoopid.

DEAN's face clears abruptly.

DEAN

Oh.

Sudden banging on bathroom door. Camera has both boys in shot.

SAM and DEAN together

Minute!

They freeze and stare at each other, horrified at what they've just done.

SARAH BLAKE [behind door]

Wow, you boys really do do everything together.

DEAN lifts a hand and points at door.

DEAN

[whispers]

She said 'do-do'.

SAM

[scowling]

Dean.

DEAN shrugs, then looks down at corpse.

DEAN

I got it: we hide her, pretend nothing's happened, go from there.

SAM

Why?

DEAN

Ah… How about: the less people that know the better? Right now, the only people who know are you, me, the murderer and Little Miss Squee-A-Lot currently checking the tiles for cracks.

SAM tuts loudly.

SAM

Dean, she's dead. Try to be nice.

DEAN

[indignant]

Hey, I'm being nice.

SAM

You're being an ass.

DEAN

[apologetic]

Well she was a bit… screamy.

SAM rolls his eyes and huffs as well, for good measure. DEAN pushes at his arm and then gestures to corpse.

DEAN

Come on then, we gotta get her out of here without anyone seeing.

.

**CUT TO--**

.

Outside bathroom door. Camera on doorknob. It moves and turns. Door opens and SAM'S head pops out. He checks up and down hallway. He swings door open wide and pulls on large, bulky item rolled up in shower curtain, tucked under his arm.

He begins to walk down hallway and DEAN appears at other end of corpse wrapped in plastic shower curtain. They exit shot screen right. Camera stays fixed on empty, clean bathroom.

SOUNDS of scuffling, grunting and doorknobs rattling out of shot further on down hallway.

SAM [off-screen]

Move to your left.

DEAN [off-screen]

You move to your left.

SAM [off-screen]

Turn that way.

DEAN [off-screen]

I am doing.

SAM [off-screen]

Right. Got it. Close the door.

DEAN [off-screen]

Dude, I've only got four limbs, know what I mean?

Sounds of muttering and doors closing. Then footsteps.

SAM and DEAN walk back into shot and go into bathroom. They look around, checking room is clean. They both nod and exit room.

Camera pulls back and widens. Dollies backwards to watch them walk down hallway toward stairs.

DEAN

So when's the stripper gettin' here?

SAM

[surprised]

What?

DEAN

The stripper. Don't tell me you planned a surprise party and didn't book a stripper!

SAM

[defensive]

I didn't have that much time! And anyway, for the third time, I thought it was just gonna be Bobby, Missouri and Pamela. How was I to know those two would invite anyone who's ever been on the payroll?

DEAN

[grumpy]

Typical. Y'know, if Henrickson had survived season three - four - three - whatever - and he was here tonight, you can bet your ass he woulda got me a stripper.

SAM sighs.

New fixed camera watches two boys at top of staircase. SAM is ahead. He pauses on top step. A girl is coming up the stairs. SAM waits for her to bounce up the stairs. She pauses next to him on top step.

SAM

[surprised]

Holly!

HOLLY

Hey! It's just like all so exciting, and can you imagine I had to ask Bobby for the washroom! Me! Asking Bobby where the washroom is! How embarrassing is that? And like--

DEAN leans forward and stares at her meaningfully. He stretches his right hand out to point at bathroom without looking at it.

DEAN

[slowly, clearly]

It's right over there.

HOLLY freezes at his head close to hers. Her eyes go wide. She begins to emit her high-pitched, keening squeee noise.

DEAN

[firmly, growling]

Go. Now.

HOLLY slides past them, still squeeeing, and dashes for bathroom.

SAM looks at DEAN fearfully. DEAN watches her shut the door. He turns to SAM and whispers hoarsely:

DEAN

That was the dead chick!

SAM

I saw!

DEAN

Explain the dead chick walkin' around like--.

DEAN stops short. SAM eyes him, then looks at ceiling as he gasps in realisation. SAM looks down at DEAN.

SAM and DEAN together

Looks like we got ourselves a shapeshifter.

**END OF SCENE**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

.

* * *

.

INTERIOR - BOBBY'S PLACE - UPSTAIRS LANDING

SAM and DEAN are standing nervously against opposite walls of hallway near top of stairs. Wide shot of them both watching, ostensibly looking at the camera. They are watching bathroom door beyond.

SAM

[whispers]

Are we sure she's a shapeshifter?

DEAN does not look at him, but watches the hallway.

DEAN

Well the dead girl on the floor was real human skin and blood, Sam. Which means that one ain't.

SAM

Right. But… if she was the 'shifter, why would she come back up to the bathroom? If the body was still in there?

DEAN

I don't know. Maybe she wanted to plant the body for someone to find - and you did but it didn't go how she wanted. Maybe she wanted whoever found it to start screaming the place down. Then everyone would go batshit crazy and she could do what she came to do.

SAM looks at his brother, confused. He looks at ceiling, then around landing. Finally back at DEAN.

SAM

And what's that?

DEAN

Whut's whut?

SAM

What did she come here to do?

DEAN

How the hell should I know? Why don't we wait here and ask her when she comes back!

Silence as boys wait.

DEAN

[thoughtful]

How many 'shifters do we know?

SAM

What? Why?

DEAN

Cos this could be one coming back for revenge.

SAM

Ok, hold on… There was the first one in… ah… St. Louis, right? Are we sure he's dead?

DEAN

[grumpy]

Well I shot him. With silver. Face-stealin' amulet-pinchin' psycho.

SAM looks amused.

SAM

And then… er… Milwaukee, the bank, right?

DEAN

And we got him. Didn't we?

SAM

Ah…

SAM scratches head, thinking.

SAM

Yeah. You pinned her to the wall with a silver knife, I think.

DEAN smiles slightly.

DEAN

Oh yeah.

SAM clears his throat, slightly awkward.

SAM

And then… none for season three, right?

DEAN

Right. Not enough time.

SAM

So… just our friend from the monster movie set-up, season four, then.

DEAN

Yeah… kinda felt sorry for that dude, really.

SAM looks surprised.

SAM

Yeah, well, it's moot anyway cos Jamie shot him. We watched him die, right?

DEAN

Yeah.

[Pause]

Yeah.

SAM looks at him, sees reluctance.

SAM

What?

DEAN

Well… if any of the 'shifters we seen so far could have survived, I'd woulda liked it to be him.

SAM

[snorts, amused]

Freak.

DEAN turns to look at him.

DEAN

I'm a freak? I'm not the one who organises a party without a stripper.

SAM huffs loudly. DEAN turns back to watch.

DEAN

Ok, she ain't coming. She's clocked the body's gone and she knows we moved it.

SAM

Cos she saw us on the stairs?

DEAN

Cos we were the last people near the room 'fore she checked it. Same-same.

SAM

So…

SAM gasps and exits screen right, running down hallway. DEAN appears confused but exits screen right to run after him.

Long camera follows them down the hallway. SAM grabs doorknob and wrenches door open.

New camera over his shoulder to see into room. DEAN pokes head round jamb to see in too.

DEAN

She's not here!

SAM looks up across bathroom. Camera on SAM.

SAM

Crap!

Camera on DEAN; he looks up at window too. Camera cuts to window shot: it's open.

DEAN

Crap!

Camera back on both boys in doorway. SAM lets go and turns. He runs out of shot to the stairs. Camera turns as DEAN follows.

New camera long-shot to see boys reach top of the stairs and fly down them.

.

**CUT TO--**

.

Boys jump down last step. Camera pans back to show they find themselves in the middle of the guests. They look around but it's hopeless. Wide angle shot of full room. We can see DEAN in the middle. DEAN runs back up a few steps to see out over crowd. SAM follows.

SAM

[quietly]

She could be anyone in here, man.

DEAN

Yeah. So… There must be a double in here somewhere.

SAM

How's that?

DEAN

She wouldn't have time to knock someone off before she could take their place, right? She's runnin', so she's hiding temporary-like till she can get rid of the original.

SAM

Right. Now all we have to figure out is what she's really doing here.

Camera pans over crowd as boys in bottom of frame search the heads. Music playing in background is 'PEACE OF MIND' by BOSTON.

A voice calls out from crowd.

BOBBY

[shouting]

There he is!

Wide angle on room sees everyone turn to see the boys stood a few steps up the stairs. Cut to BOBBY, in the middle, near the music system.

BOBBY

You comin' down so we can cut this cake?

Cut to DEAN. He puts innocent finger to his chest. Cut to BOBBY.

BOBBY

Well of course you! I don't see anyone else here with a birthday today!

Camera on both boys, looking worried.

SAM

[mutters]

Do we tell him?

DEAN

[whispers]

He could be the 'shifter.

SAM pushes DEAN in the back. DEAN stumbles down one step then catches his balance. Camera follows them through crowd. DEAN is cheered and clapped on back as he pushes through people politely.

DEAN reaches music player in centre of room. Camera over his shoulder. Something rectangular and nearly two feet long is lying obscured by a white tea cloth.

DEAN

[nervous]

Whut's this?

BOBBY puts heavy hand on his shoulder nearest camera, shaking it with clear affection. Cut to BOBBY. It appears BOBBY is slightly drunk.

BOBBY

Got you a special cake. Go on, lift it.

Camera on DEAN. He looks round until SAM appears from his left. Camera zooms on cloth. DEAN'S hand reaches out and lifts cloth slowly.

Crowd cheer and clap as an eighteen-inch 3D cake in the shape of the Impala is revealed. It's at least five inches high, looks like a close copy of the real one. In the centre of the roof are large white letters that read 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAN! BITE ME'.

Camera on DEAN'S back. Hands appear and push or pat at his free shoulder, people wishing him happy birthday.

Cut to BOBBY. He lets DEAN'S shoulder go, picking up a long knife. New camera on both DEAN and BOBBY in shot. BOBBY flourishes knife at DEAN. DEAN jumps slightly and stands back, bracing himself.

People laugh but camera cuts to SAM, who looks on nervously. Cut to BOBBY. He reverses knife and shoves handle at DEAN.

BOBBY

Well, go on then. Cut it.

Camera on DEAN. He takes knife, looks at blade and finds it's silver.

DEAN

I get the fancy cutlery?

BOBBY

[smiling]

Tell the truth, silver hunting knives are all I have.

DEAN

Right. Great.

Camera closes in on cake. Knife goes to slide into roof. From screen right mystery hand comes in and grabs his wrist, stopping him.

MAN'S VOICE [off-screen]

Not yet. There's something first.

Camera follows hand and arm to stop on TRICKSTER'S smiling face. Cut to DEAN. He looks understandably apprehensive.

DEAN

Whut's that?

Camera on TRICKSTER.

TRICKSTER

Sing 'Happy Birthday', dumbass!

Cut to wide shot of TRICKSTER and DEAN. TRICKSTER lets go of wrist. DEAN looks relieved. Cut to SAM behind them in shot. SAM'S eyes are shifting round room quickly.

TRICKSTER turns to room, lifting his hands.

TRICKSTER

Come on then everyone--

[waves hands to count down]

2, 1 -- Happy birthday to you!

Crowd begins to sing.

PAMELA pushes through crowd. Camera sees her put her hands out and enclose DEAN'S. Her nail polish is clear. We see her push on DEAN'S hand to help him cut the cake. Knife slides through to base underneath.

DEAN lets go of knife to stand back. Wide camera on room: everyone cheering. Camera on top of cake. PAMELA pulls knife from cake slowly. Camera on DEAN. He turns to stack of plates nearby.

DEAN

Who's for a piece then?

Camera on PAMELA. She turns knife in her hand and raises it at DEAN'S shoulder.

A female screams. DEAN jumps and looks. Camera sees knife in PAMELA'S hand come down. DEAN's hand grabs wrist.

Camera pans to room. People jump back quickly, panicked.

BOBBY [off-screen]

Pamela! What the hell!

Crowd scatter backwards. DEAN has hold of her wrist. PAMELA shouts angrily and pushes hard on knife hand. DEAN and PAMELA fall to floor. Camera on both as they roll and struggle.

SAM's legs in shot behind rolling. DEAN elbows PAMELA in the gut, gets on top. Gets hand round her throat. Camera on PAMELA'S face. DEAN's free hand rips off her black glasses.

Close-up of PAMELA'S face - she has normal eyes.

DEAN [off-screen]

Where's the real Pamela?

SHAPESHIFTER (as PAMELA)

Not far away.

SHIFTER struggles against DEAN'S grip. Grunts with effort. Camera pulls back to bring DEAN into shot as well as SHIFTER.

SAM [legs only in shot]

Why are you doing this?

SHIFTER

Cos it's the perfect opportunity to kill you both!

SAM [legs only in shot]

Why?

SHIFTER

Cos you're both hunters, you dumbass! What other reason is there?

Camera closes to bring tight shot of DEAN and SHIFTER.

DEAN

What about the fangirl, Holly?

SHIFTER

[grunting, struggling]

What about her?

DEAN

Why'd you kill her?

SHIFTER

I wasn't going to but - but - but she was just so goddamn annoying!

Camera on DEAN'S face. He lifts head and raises vindicated eyebrows at SAM, still off-screen.

SOUND OF BANGING ON FRONT DOOR.

The crowd either ignore it or don't hear it. Except for THE TRICKSTER, who looks around. He disappears from crowd.

Cut to DEAN'S face.

DEAN

Why kill us? What'd we ever do to you?

SHIFTER

You're hunters!

DEAN

Whut, no revenge? We haven't killed your family, your friend, your dog, nuthin'?

Camera on shifter.

SHIFTER

[angry]

Do you actually watch the show? Of course not!

[Pause]

And I'm not waiting around for someone to finally get round to finding me and wasting me, especially not on some second-rate TV show!

Camera on DEAN.

DEAN

[indignant]

Hey! We pulled in nearly four million viewers for the mid-season finale!

FEMALE VOICE

Ta-daaa!

Camera sees DEAN'S head as it comes up. New camera on crowd. They turn to archway to room.

A young woman is standing there, arms up to show herself off. She's dressed as a policewoman, grinning at the room.

She sees everyone is looking at her. She takes off her hat and skims it across the room rakishly. She pulls her tie free quickly and loops it round her finger. Her free hand goes to poppers on her shirt to wrench them open one by one. She takes a deep breath.

STRIPPER

[sing-song poem]

It's your birthday Deanie,

You must be chuffed to bits!

Have a drink, eat your cake,

Then I'll get out my--

Camera on her face. Her grin turns to horror. Camera pans back to see she is looking at DEAN with his hand round the throat of someone who looks like a dark-haired woman. In his hand is a long silver knife, poised to strike.

Stripper screams.

Room begins to move, swarm, panic.

Camera on SAM. He is shouting and waving hands to calm crowd. Running and screaming starts. Camera closes in on SAM. He looks resigned. Closes mouth.

We hear DEAN grunt in surprise. SAM looks down and gasps.

Camera falls quickly to follow SAM dropping down in a crouch. He grabs at something out of shot.

BOBBY and another pair of legs appear behind SAM. He doesn't see, he's still looking down at something out of shot.

SAM

[fearful]

Don't move, Dean, let me look!

Camera pans down; close-up on DEAN's face. He is on his back looking up, SAM'S hand under his neck. He looks pained.

Camera pans down along DEAN'S side to see large bloody patch spreading under his shirt on right side, closest to camera.

DEAN

[pained]

Bitch stabbed me!

SAM

I know! Just hold still.

Camera closes on SAM's hand. SAM lifts DEAN'S shirt and looks under: camera close-up on two-inch slice, about an inch above jeans and belt.

SAM [out of shot]

You're lucky: it's not too bad.

DEAN [out of shot]

Let me up.

SAM [out of shot]

Hang on, let me--

DEAN's hand knocks at SAM's. Camera pulls back as DEAN struggles to his feet, grabbing at SAM to help him. Once up he pushes SAM back and lifts shirt and t-shirt at the side to look at it. Camera closes to see the stab wound bleeding freely.

Camera on BOBBY and THE TRICKSTER, over SAM's shoulder.

BOBBY

Get that stoppered before you get after her, boy.

TRICKSTER

She stabbed you! On your birthday!

Camera on DEAN'S face. He looks at TRICKSTER using Patented Angry Face Number One: jaw stuck out, muscles either side taut, eyes flaming green. TRICKSTER lands heavy hand on DEAN'S shoulder.

TRICKSTER

Dude, this is the best birthday party ever!

**END OF ACT III**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

.

* * *

.

_**Thanks for reading! Hope you're still enjoying i**_t.


	5. ACT IV

.

**ACT IV**

INTERIOR - BOBBY'S PLACE - NIGHT

FRONT ROOM

People are scattered around in loose groups. Music has stopped. Front door slams. Everyone jumps and looks at archway.

Enter SAM. He is hurrying, carrying his duffle. Camera watches him approach DEAN and BOBBY. He stops as camera cuts to DEAN, perched on music system. BOBBY is handing him small white items.

SAM looks more closely. Camera closes on DEAN'S hands, holding up his t-shirt while other hand pushes large white patch over temporary sutures in the slice in his side.

SAM tuts and camera cuts to his face. He is annoyed, or angry.

DEAN [off-screen]

What are you so grumpy about? You didn't get stabbed.

SAM

This is not exactly how I wanted your birthday to go.

Camera on DEAN's face.

DEAN

Given the choice, I'd rather have the cake and stripper, too.

[Pause]

Or the stripper out of a cake. Or the cake on the stripper, or--

BOBBY [off-screen]

Plan?

Camera watches DEAN push himself off music system to stand up. Camera pans back to get DEAN, SAM and BOBBY in shot.

DEAN

Bobby, you herd this lot together and watch 'em. Me and Sam are gonna go kill the bitch.

BOBBY

What if she's already someone here?

DEAN

Then she changes faster than a Nielson's ratings index.

SAM

My guess is she'll be hiding somewhere in your huge house, waiting for us to split up and go find her.

BOBBY

Why would she do that?

SAM

Cos it makes for a more exciting last act to the episode. Imagine how boring it would be if we went looking in groups, found her, and there was no 'it is Sam/Dean or it is the 'shifter?' moment.

DEAN

[confused]

Wouldn't it make more sense if she leapt out a window and stole a car?

SAM

It might. But then, while we're not exactly struggling for ratings this season, we can't let the momentum go now - not if we want a season five. And a stealthy hunt through the house trumps a 'one that got away' episode every time.

DEAN and BOBBY shrug. Camera pans back to see BOBBY look around the room full of people.

BOBBY

Ok, everyone! We're all staying in this room, and no-one leaves for anything, you got that?

Chorus of pleas, protests and general chatter.

Camera pans to see THE TRICKSTER behind SAM, DEAN and BOBBY. He waves his hands for quiet. He is ignored. Camera watches him climb up onto chair by music system. He stands and looks at everyone.

TRICKSTER

Right people, listen up!

Wide angle on room. Everyone quietens slightly as people notice him there. Cut to TRICKSTER'S face. He is not happy.

TRICKSTER

Everyone here has been in at least one episode, so you know the drill, am I right?

Crowd murmurs.

TRICKSTER

So let's just do as we're told and stay put, alright? Let the boys here deal with it.

Crowd hang their heads and murmur agreement.

Camera on DEAN. He is surprised.

DEAN

Thanks, man.

Camera watches TRICKSTER turn to look at him, brings both he and DEAN into shot.

TRICKSTER

[shrugs]

Hey, no sweat, buddy. I ain't giving that shifter any reason to try and take my place.

DEAN

[sarcastic]

That's the spirit.

Camera cuts to SAM.

SAM

Alright! If anyone leaves this room they risk being killed and replaced by this 'shifter. So, seriously, nobody leave!

Camera on crowd; everyone nods vigourously. Cut to SAM.

SAM

[to DEAN, who is off camera]

Ok, we good?

Camera pans down to SAM'S duffle. Hands go in and weapons come out. Camera cuts to see DEAN checking silver rounds in his handgun, the Colt 1911.

DEAN nods to SAM.

**END OF SCENE**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

.

* * *

.

INTERIOR - BOBBY'S PLACE - NIGHT

Camera follows SAM and DEAN as they creep up dark stairs. No lights except for what is cast by downstairs.

Camera cuts to top step. SAM'S boot on carpet. Cuts up to SAM'S face. His handgun is up and ready, pointing at the dark corridor.

SAM

[whispers]

What now, Dean?

DEAN

I got it, I got it: this is the bit where we split up - even though we've just told everyone else that it would be a bad idea - and one of us is in mortal danger while the other is held up by a decoy, making the audience shift to the edges of their seats while they worry about how we'll get out of it this time.

SAM

[confused]

Meaning?

DEAN

[whispers]

Meaning you go that way and I'll go this way. Whoever finds her first shoots for first prize. Got it?

SAM

[nods]

Right. Be careful.

DEAN

[whispers]

Sam?

SAM

What?

DEAN

Can I get the decoy while you get the mortal danger bit?

SAM just looks at him.

DEAN

[innocent]

Whut? It is ma birthday.

Camera cuts to SAM. His eyes roll and he turns his back to the camera. Camera closes on DEAN. He shrugs and turns his back to the camera too.

Camera pans back to watch them follow the hallway, walking away from each other slowly.

.

**CUT TO SAM--**

.

He is walking slowly down the hallway, his gun poised and aimed ahead of him, ready. We see him cautiously open one door and poke his head in. He withdraws and closes it again silently. He carries on down hallway.

He stops at next door. Camera on hand as he opens it slowly. He lets door swing open with a creak.

He looks inside and gasps.

.

**CUT TO DEAN--**

.

He stops outside a door. He opens it in exact replica of SAM. He looks inside, looks unimpressed, moves onto next door. Opens door and looks inside. He jolts with surprise and gasps.

.

**CUT TO SAM--**

.

SAM is surprised. He walks in room quickly, looking around at amazingly clean bedroom. Looks unused. Everything is perfect. He walks to middle of room, letting gun hand drop.

.

**CUT TO DEAN--**

.

He edges into room, gun up, arms straight, finger on trigger.

DEAN

[gruff; no patience]

Who are you people?

Camera pans to see five men in various black t-shirts and jeans, sitting on packing crates or office chairs. There is a silver equipment trunk in the middle of them all which appears to be being used as a table. They have headsets and baseball caps on, and everyone is holding playing cards.

They all turn to look at DEAN, surprised. One man clears his throat, his eyes on the gun.

MAN

[surprised; nervous]

We're the sound crew. We're on our break.

Camera on DEAN.

DEAN

[confused]

The sound crew?

Camera on MAN and co-worker next to him in shot.

MAN

Yeah, man, the… sound… crew.

Everyone looks uncomfortable.

MAN

Um… Are you supposed to be in here?

Everyone shifts feet, looks at DEAN (out of shot) with embarrassment.

Cut to DEAN. He is annoyed.

DEAN

I don't give a crap who you are - explain what you're doing here before I give you all a permanent reason to quit your day-jobs.

MAN

[clears throat, nervous]

We're the sound crew, man, we're just the sound crew! The camera crew are following you around, but we're not needed just yet. When they've checked the sound levels and someone needs to dub in some track lost in filming, then we'll get called back to work! Honest!

Camera on DEAN. He considers this. His gaze wanders round room carefully. He looks back at MAN. His gun hand drops.

DEAN

O…k. I think.

Five men look relieved and sag on the seats or packing crates. Cut to DEAN. He is pushing the safety on his Colt, sniffing and thinking.

MAN

[relieved]

So… ah… You enjoying the episode so far?

Camera on DEAN.

DEAN

[shrugs]

Pretty much. We finally got some Zeppelin in. Got stabbed though.

Wide shot to bring all sound crew and DEAN into shot.

MAN

Yeah, I read that bit of the script. And before you got any cake, too. Bummer.

DEAN

[smiling ruefully]

What can I say? Someone's always twisting my melon, man.

Camera on crew only. They laugh.

.

**CUT TO SAM--**

.

He turns to look round room. We hear tinkle of crystals. He freezes but then looks up.

A black shape drops from ceiling (chandelier). It lands on top of him. Camera pulls back to see SHIFTER (as PAMELA) and SAM struggle. She is on top, one hand gripping his throat.

Camera closes on SAM'S hand, reaching for gun on carpet. Grunting, struggling sounds from both.

.

**CUT TO DEAN--**

.

Sounds of sound crew laughing. DEAN is waving hands to stop them, grinning knowingly.

DEAN

And then get this - then she turns to me and says 'Oh, hang! I thought you said bang!'

Camera on crew, laughing. MAN lifts hand, waves it as he laughs.

MAN

You get all the luck, y'know.

Wide camera to bring sound crew and DEAN into shot.

DEAN

[shrugs]

Makes up for the days you just get beaten up and abused.

MAN

Absolutely.

[Pause]

So how's the car? I heard they were tuning it all day yesterday.

DEAN

Running like a dream, man, thanks.

Pause. Camera closes on DEAN'S face as he starts to look alarmed.

Camera cuts to MAN.

MAN

What?

Close-up of DEAN.

DEAN

You're the decoy!

DEAN turns and races out of door. Camera on MAN.

MAN

[smiling]

And people say he's the thick one.

.

**CUT TO SAM--**

.

Struggling and fighting. SAM pushes SHIFTER off him. SHIFTER lands on carpet. SAM flips over, reaches for gun. A shout of frustration and SHIFTER leaps at his back.

Pushes him to carpet on his front. Kneels on his back. Grabs head and starts to twist.

Door is booted wide open. Camera on DEAN as he enters. Raises gun.

SHIFTER gasps and turns.

SHIFTER

[desperate]

No!

Camera on poker-faced DEAN; he fires three times.

Camera on SHIFTER. She falls to carpet, rolls to her back, dead. Eyes are open, shocked.

SAM pushes up from carpet. Sits up. Close-up on his face, not impressed. Rubs throat.

Camera on DEAN. Lets gun drop and crosses to SAM. Looks down at him.

Camera pulls back to keep both in shot.

DEAN

You ok?

SAM

[rubbing throat, looking daggers at dead SHIFTER]

Yeah, I guess.

Camera follows SAM as he stands. Camera on DEAN. He is looking down at SHIFTER.

DEAN

Well that's that. Now we gotta find the real Pamela. Man, is she gonna be pissed.

SAM

Why do you always get to shoot them? It's not fair, dude. I was the one in mortal combat, I shoulda been allowed to kill her.

DEAN looks at SAM, close-up on both faces in shot.

DEAN

[smiling]

Blame the writers. I guess they figure you're the pitiful-looking one.

SAM

[scowls]

Yeah, right. Who slapped that demon wench around in episode one this season?

DEAN

[grinning]

Hey, I know you kick ass, dude. It's just the writers holding onto season two mentality.

SAM

[more charitable]

Thanks.

DEAN

Of course, it was a chick you were going two rounds with, and even then she already had her eyes burnt out--

Camera pulls back to watch SAM lift his hand. He claps DEAN heavily on shoulder as camera dollies back to watch them leave room.

SAM

Stop before you dig yourself a hole.

DEAN

So we going back to the party after we get Pamela?

SAM

[pleased]

Absolutely. Now you're a year older--

DEAN

And a year colder--

SAM

What have you learnt?

DEAN is thoughtful as the camera watches them walk down the hallway toward the stairs.

DEAN

Well… I've learnt not to mess with small kids with superhuman strength. I've learnt the word 'long-pig'. I've learnt lederhosen itch. I've learnt not all angels are dicks. I've learnt… I've learnt people remember us after we save their lives and disappear into the sunset.

SAM

[grinning]

And that surprise birthday parties are not the chore you thought they were?

DEAN

Jury's still out on that one, Sammy.

SAM

[still amused]

Right.

Boys reach top of stairs. Camera fixed at top, watching them walk down slowly.

DEAN

Hey, I don't see your demon girl-fiend at this party.

SAM

[annoyed]

She's not my--.

[Huffs]

She's not here.

DEAN

Did you notice there's no Castiel, either?

SAM

[snorts with amusement]

Well of course not.

DEAN

Why not?

SAM

They're not in this episode.

DEAN

Why's that? Clashing work availability?

SAM

[patient]

Dude, this is one of those comedy pieces between story arc episodes. Y'know, the ones they're not in? They'll be back next week and it'll be an Angst-Fest.

DEAN

[with heavy, gruff conviction]

God I hate those.

SAM

What? Why?

DEAN

[grumpy]

Cos I always end up crying and looking pitiful.

SAM

[malicious grin]

But you do it so well.

DEAN

You'd know, Kleenex king.

SAM

Bite me.

DEAN

Dude, I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole after what you and Ruby admitted to a few episodes ago.

SAM

[grinning]

Right.

Cut to bottom of stairs, boys looking out at the room of guests. Wide shot shows both boys.

BOBBY pushes through crowd, stands centre-shot.

BOBBY

D'you get her?

Camera on SAM and DEAN, side by side. DEAN lifts gun hand, Colt 1911 pointed lazily at floor.

DEAN

I got her.

Crowd cheers and claps. DEAN looks immensely pleased, as if he's won a medal.

SAM

We need to find the real Pamela.

Camera on BOBBY.

BOBBY

Done!

BOBBY guides PAMELA to stand in front of him slightly. PAMELA waves cheerily in SAM and DEAN'S direction.

BOBBY

We might not have been killin' 'shifters, but we did spend our time down here wisely. Went through three closets 'fore we found the poor girl.

PAMELA

[grinning]

Like I'm scared of the dark. Seriously.

Cut to SAM and DEAN; they exchange an amused glance.

DEAN

So we finally gonna get to eat the cake now? And somebody turn that music back on! Where's ma drink?

**END OF SCENE.**

MUSIC CHORD SLAMS TO BLACK SCREEN.

.

* * *

.

INTERIOR - BOBBY'S PLACE - EARLY HOURS OF MORNING

Still a lot of people in front room, but numbers are thinning out. BOBBY is talking with JO and ELLEN in background, TRICKSTER can be seen leaning on wall, talking with CASSIE and PAMELA.

Camera pans around to take in happy atmosphere. Song playing in background is 'CARRY ON WAYWARD SON' by KANSAS.

Camera halts on SAM, drinking and talking with MISSOURI MOSELY. Hand lands on his left arm. He and camera turn to find DEAN smiling at MISSOURI.

SAM

Dude, where did you get to? A coupla people left, they wanted to say goodbye but couldn't find you.

DEAN

[innocent]

Just calmin' Stacey down 'fore she left.

SAM

Stacey?

DEAN

The stripper. She was a little upset, you know. I was just giving her some emotional supportin'.

MISSOURI looks amused, shaking her head as she is approached by BOBBY. She turns to him and they walk off-screen, talking.

SAM

[to DEAN]

Is that all you were giving her?

DEAN

[innocent]

Absolutely.

SAM looks out over crowd of guests. DEAN puts hand to chest, smoothes it down t-shirt between edges of his checked shirt, and then up with a satisfied smile. Smile falters as fingers encounter the collar - it's inside out. DEAN clears his throat and closes shirt edges slowly to conceal this fact.

SAM

[oblivious]

You know, just for once, I'm going to believe you. I still don't know who booked her.

DEAN slaps back of hand to SAM'S arm, very amused, using Patented I Know Something You Don't Know Smirk Number One.

DEAN

I do.

SAM

Who?

DEAN

You're not going to believe this - Wesley.

SAM

Wesley? Wesley Mondale? The same Wesley Mondale with the coin and the wishes and the lightning?

DEAN

[laughing]

Yeah. Wonders never cease, huh? Told you he'd be alright.

SAM

Alright enough to order strippers instead of get you something useful.

DEAN opens mouth but then pauses. He closes mouth quickly. Clears throat.

DEAN

Let's go celebrate finally, huh?

.

**CUT TO--**

.

BOBBY'S PLACE -- VERY NEARLY DAWN -- UPSTAIRS SPARE BEDROOM.

Camera on inside of door. Knob rattles and then door bursts open. We see BOBBY'S back as he shuffles backwards into room. We see one of DEAN'S feet, still in its boot, in each of BOBBY'S hands.

BOBBY shuffles in. We see SAM. He has one hand under each of DEAN'S shoulders. They carry DEAN in. Close-up of DEAN'S face shows him apparently asleep or similarly unconscious.

Faint music can be heard from downstairs. Track is 'WASTED JAMIE' by THE STEVE CARLSON BAND.

Wide shot of three of them. SAM and BOBBY carry DEAN to the bed. They swing him once, twice, then onto the bed. DEAN bounces on his back. Close-up on his face as his eyes open. He puts a hand up blearily.

DEAN

[slurred, grumpy]

Who's that singing? Their backing dude sucks.

New camera from behind bedside table; DEAN is right of frame, BOBBY and SAM standing in doorway, left of frame. DEAN starts to try to sit up.

SAM

[firmly]

Stay!

DEAN

[bleary]

We there already? Salt's in the trunk.

BOBBY smiles, patting SAM'S shoulder to indicate that they leave.

BOBBY

Come on, son. He needs to sleep that off.

DEAN

Naw, I'm good.

BOBBY

Shut up. Sleep. It's nearly six a.m.

DEAN

[sighs]

Ok.

[Eyes close slowly]

Bobby?

BOBBY

Yup?

DEAN

[very sleepy]

Find Sam. Tell him… I had a… [YAWN]… an awesome birthday.

BOBBY smiles, looks at SAM, puts finger to his lips. SAM smiles. Camera on DEAN'S face.

BOBBY [off-screen]

Ok.

DEAN

[mumbles]

Got stabbed. Got laid. Got hammered.

[Pause]

Bobby?

BOBBY [off-screen]

[amused]

What is it, son?

DEAN

[faint mutter, half asleep, half drunk]

Don't tell Sammy… I banged that stripper tonight. He'd just… roll his eyes an' huff.

Camera on BOBBY and SAM. They exchange a smile. BOBBY looks back over at DEAN.

BOBBY

[amused]

Right you are.

Camera on DEAN.

DEAN

[mumbles]

Hmm. Good times. Hmm. Gotta think of summin for Sammy's b'thday… He loves bir'days… When he wus like six, he wan'ed this… [YAWN]… huge teddy bear--

Wide angle of room, DEAN on right side, SAM and BOBBY in doorway on left. SAM and BOBBY begin to retreat slowly as DEAN continues to mumble away to himself.

DEAN

--an' he wus frettin' an' wailin' cos Dad said no… But I got it fr' 'im. Dad knocked my ass… into a… into a… sling for… for that one…

BOBBY pushes SAM back to get outside door. BOBBY reaches across him to grasp doorknob. SAM is still watching DEAN, amused.

Camera closes on DEAN, squirming on back to get comfortable.

DEAN

… and then… and then the year he wanted… wan'ed that… damn calculator…

Camera on door. It closes firmly.

**END OF ACT IV**

SILENT CUT TO BLACK SCREEN.

**END**

**CREDITS.**

.

* * *

.

_**And that's it! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**_

_**I'm really sad now, cos I really had fun with this one. Ok, so it's not topping 'The Key' or 'Intervention Pending' for me, but it will forever be in my top three. I'm just sad it's over - but hey, all good things and all that, right?**_

_**Thanks for reading everyone - and, as always, thanks especially for your reviews. Each and every one means a lot to me.**_

_**.**_


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